THE FUNCTION MAN’S DYSFUNCTIONAL RUN!
Our Function Man YOGI’s appearance in TP is as rare as sighting the dodo; but he did answer to the call of duty to lay his run. Together with a platoon of co-hares, UNCLE LUBBER, BAMBOO SNAKE, AJINOMOTO and BLURR, he laid a scorching trail in IMPIAN EMAS that even out-stripped Doc Soob’s mini-marathon last week!
More than half the pack got wind of the impending tribulations ahead from some insider- whispers and thus cleverly curtailed their run. A quartet from Sekudai Hash, who is familiar with this backyard of theirs, led the SCBs out safely. The rest of us went n for a 15 km sojourn of Ladangs Sekudai, Amber and Senai! The Hare innocently announced that there were only three checks, but they were miles apart!
The First Check after the tunnel was broken by Watermelon and this melon-head led us all the way until we crossed the gas-pipe. Any normal trail in this estate would have rounded back after this pipe; but this was an abnormal trail! It penetrated further into the interior of Amber Estate until we almost hit Doc Soob’s paper! The Second Check was found by Jag after a long while, and the paper still didn’t look like it was leading us back; we were still probing in unfamiliar country. When finally it began to curve back to the audible sounds of the Highway traffic, it was getting bloody dark.
To make matters worse the FROPs ran off without a whimper leaving the back-markers gasping for breath far behind; this was more pronounced in the Third Check which was cracked by IFoksoon; the sounds of the traffic was a good indication to him where to forage for the connection. In the dusk Ninja reappeared out of the blue and raced home without surrendering the lead. After we heard the Highway traffic, the end was still some 5 clicks away! Instead of the usual way home near the fencing, the sadistic Hare took us for a grand tour of the veggie farms and rounded at least three more hills before we finally hit the wide tunnel! To the right after the tunnel we literally had to grope our way to the bush-crawl that led us to the rails.
Back at Paikia’s Wagon, all kinds of expletives were hailed at the Hares for trying to kill us! Only Doc Soob commended him for the effort just to placate his own folly last week! The last stragglers ambled home way past 8! And so Circle was called late; but it nevertheless didn’t lose its sting. Samsu, the Mystery Batu Api, gave a 5-Star performance going for the jugular of the unfortunate souls who walked and misled him; De Pest, expectedly led the ‘Tambah Squad’ to add more spices to the main dish. A good phenomenon is the contagion of Tambahism; once it got started, everyone spontaneously jumped onto the bandwagon and woe-betide the asses on ice! GM curtailed the kangaroo-court well past 9 and we took a short drive to 63 for the second consecutive week. There were plenty of booze and grub with Birthday Old Cock Sissy throwing in a carton for good measure. The whole do was then declared FOC and we sang the Hare our traditional gratitude. NANDRI, YOGI.
HIGHLY-NUMBED BY THE RUN!
